We women are fierce competitors with one another. This is a biological and psychological reality of our existence. We compete for social status, for career and for beauty. All of which funnels down into the most innately rooted motivation; to gain and keep the attention of a mate.
The inner workings of a woman’s mind is a remorseless cycle of self-loathing and exhausting competition.
No one’s Instagram is real. We all want an ass that isn’t possible to obtain without a good bout of surgery and starvation. Even “influencers” know it’s not real. Thee figure. We all know those thighs look the same as ours when you stand up straight and stop doing that ridiculous pose.
I digress. Point is, we compare ourselves to one another, rip ourselves apart and happily tear one another apart for vindication. Judging one another is a dirty habit that we should put more effort into breaking.
Therefore, I want to take a second to remind women that we should support one another more regularly. Make a habit of loving and respecting the women around us rather than judging or envying. This post is about positive vibes, it’s about sisterhood and respect.
Take a second to appreciate the women around you. Compliment them. Tell her what you think makes her strong, tell her everything you love and respect about her. Give the woman passing by a genuine compliment; I love nothing more than when a woman tells me she loves my outfit or my eye shadow. I was walking into the gym the other day and the front desk associate said this as I scanned myself in, “You look so beautiful every day”. It made me tear up, it had that much of an impact on me.
You can change a day with something as simple as genuine compliment.
And we all know women thrive and succeed with the support of other strong women.
This was prompted to me recently by my mother when she had a moment of weakness during a very stressful time in her life. She leaned on me for support and broke down crying over stressful circumstances. All I could do was hold her in my arms and tell her that she was going to get through it and that she wasn’t alone. After the fact, she apologized and said she was embarrassed by her break down and that she should “set a better example for me”, that she should’ve been stronger. I corrected her. I told her, “strong women stay strong by leaning on other women when they need it.”
So why do we tear one another down and think so lowly of ourselves when we have shared experiences?
We’ve all looked in the mirror and been filled with disgust.
We’ve all binged on food until we made ourselves sick.
We’ve all broken promises and lied.
We’ve all had terrible things done to us and done terrible things to others.
We’ve all felt guilt and shame and embarrassment.
We’ve all thrown tantrums and lashed out irrationally. We’ve all gone through brutally agonizing, gut-wrenching heartache.
The point is, we all have been through the same trials and tribulations. Those experiences can be utter bliss or devastating hardship. Having a strong bond with other women is great for sharing those experiences, getting some perspective, and most importantly, having a shoulder to lean on.
Because as much as we like to tell ourselves otherwise, chances are, 99% of women have experienced similar circumstances. Whatever it is that has drawn you to reading this, you are not alone and another woman can be your strongest source of support. We need to stop hating on one another, and more importantly stop hating ourselves. Build yourself up by building up other women.
An added note that of course men are an amazing support system. The support of good men is vital to our thriving as daughters, sisters and partners. Some of us our lucky to have that support. But most importantly, is the men we choose to be in our lives; our friends or a partner.
I used to be one of those women who thought she just got along better with men. I’ve always had male friends. But as I’ve grown and matured, I’ve learned more about myself and realize how important it is to have genuine female friends. Because to be frank, sometimes, men just cannot relate to the things that go on in our lives and in our heads.
And as for relationships, let’s jump back to the premise of this post. Sometimes we women get so wrapped up in our endeavor for the attention and retention of our partner that we start to overlook the most important part which is if that partner is even worthy of our efforts. Always place value in yourself and that value should be reflected in the partner you choose.
As always, thanks for reading this post. If you take anything away from reading this, let my Amazonian-fierce feminine fire inspire yours:
Be strong girl, get yours, be you and never apologize for it. Never let another person threaten your vibe. You do you baby, and the support will just attract itself. And while you’re at it, spread those good vibes to the women around you.