Respect the sisterhood. Respect the men who treat their women right.
I had to think of the perfect slogan to embody this post and there it is.
We women are fierce competitors with one another. This is a biological and psychological reality of our existence. We compete for social status, for career and for beauty. All of which funnels down into the most innately rooted motivation: to gain and keep the attention of a mate.
The inner workings of a woman’s mind are a remorseless struggle of self-loathing and exhausting competition.
No one’s Instagram is real. We all want an ass that isn’t possible without a good bout of surgery and starvation. Even all of the Insta-Influencers know it’s not real. Thee ass, that figure is only possible with the ridiculously awkward pose, you know the one; that ballet foot-thigh winging-lumbar scoliosis pose — we all know those thighs look the same as ours when they are standing up straight.
I digress. Point is, we compare ourselves to one another, tear ourselves apart and happily tear one another apart for vindication. Judging one another is a dirty habit that we should put more effort into breaking.
Therefore, I wanted to take a second to remind us women that we should support one another more regularly. Make a habit of loving and respecting the women around us, rather than judging or envying them. This post is about positive vibes, about sisterhood and respect.
Take a second, appreciate the women around you. Compliment them. Tell them what you think makes them strong, what you like about them. Give the woman passing by a genuine compliment; I love nothing more than when a woman tells me she loves my outfit or my eye shadow. I was walking into the gym the other day and the front desk associate said this as I scanned myself in, “You look so beautiful every day.” It caused tears to well, it had that much of an impact on me.
You can change a day, a week, with something as simple as genuine affirmation.
Women thrive and succeed with the support of other strong women.
This was prompted to me recently by my mother, when she had a moment of weakness during a stressful time in her life and leaned on me for support. She broke down in tears over stressful circumstances that she had no power over. All I could do was hold her in my arms and tell her that she was going to get through this; that she wasn’t alone. After the fact, she apologized and said she was embarrassed by her break down. That she should set a better example for me, that she should’ve been stronger. I corrected her. I told her, “strong women stay so by leaning on other strong women when they need it.”
So why do we tear one another down and think so lowly of ourselves?
We’ve all looked in the mirror and been filled with disgust.
We’ve all binged on food until we made ourselves sick.
We’ve all broken promises and lied.
We’ve all had terrible things done to us and done terrible things to others.
We’ve all felt guilt and shame and embarrassment.
We’ve all thrown tantrums and lashed out irrationally. We’ve all gone through brutally agonizing, gut-wrenching heartache.
The point is, we all have shared experiences. And those experiences can be utter bliss or devastating hardship. Having a strong bond with other women is great for sharing those experiences, getting some perspective, and most importantly, having a shoulder to lean on.
Because as much as we like to tell ourselves otherwise, chances are, 99% of women have experienced similar circumstances. Whatever it is that has drawn you to reading this, you. Are. Not. Alone. And women can be your strongest source of support. SO, we need to stop hating on one another, and ourselves. Build yourself up by building up other women.
I will finish this post with a footnote, and to stay true to this post’s second part of the slogan:
Respect the men that treat their women right.
The support of good men is vital to our thriving. Some of us our lucky to have that support from a father, a brother. But most importantly, is the men we can choose to be in our lives; a friend or a partner.
I used to be one of those women who thought she just got along better with men. I’ve always had male friends. But as I’ve grown and matured, I have learned more about myself and realize how important it is to have genuine female friends in my life. Because, sometimes, men just cannot relate to the things that go on in our lives and in our heads.
And as for relationships, let’s jump back to the premise of this post. Sometimes we women get so wrapped up in our endeavor for the attention and retention of our partner that we start to overlook the most important part; that is, if that partner is even worthy of our efforts. Unfortunately, I can relate to this all too well of recently. But thankfully, that hardship has reinvigorated my womanly spirit (after many many nights of tears, heartache, anger and shame).
If you take anything away from reading this, let my newly re-minted Amazonian-fierce feminine fire inspire yours:
Be strong girl, get yours, be you and never apologize for it. Never let another person threaten your vibes of being a strong, independent free-spirit. You do you babygurl, and the support will just attract itself to your badass. But first, you need to channel it; spread those good vibes to the women around you.
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